An honest answer
Is my daughter too young for a pamper party?
The question we are asked most, answered properly rather than defensively.
Most children enjoy a pamper party from about five upwards. The concern parents raise is not really about age, it is about whether the party teaches a young girl to think about how she looks. A pamper party framed as dressing up and playing does not. One framed as beauty treatments can. The framing is the whole thing.
The worry, stated plainly
There is a real conversation happening among parents about beauty culture reaching children far too early. Skincare with active ingredients marketed at nine year olds. Make-up routines learned from people paid to sell them. Parents are right to be wary of it, and anyone running parties for young girls who pretends otherwise is not paying attention.
What we think the difference is
A pamper party can be two completely different things wearing the same name.
One version treats children like small adults. It uses the language of correction and improvement, applies grown-up make-up properly, and leaves a child with the idea that her face is a project. We would not run that party and we would not send our own children to it.
The other version is dressing up. The robes are silly and matching. The face masks are made out of yogurt and cucumber in front of them. The nail varnish is bright and comes off in a week. The make-up is glittery and washes off before tea. It is a group of friends being ridiculous together with cucumber on their eyes, and it has about as much to do with beauty as a dressing-up box has to do with fashion.
What we actually do
No skincare with active ingredients, at any age. Nothing described as a treatment. Nothing that promises to fix, improve or perfect anything. The girls do most of it themselves, badly and happily, with us helping. We do not comment on how anybody looks beyond telling them they look brilliant.
For the younger group, ages four to eight, it is glitter tattoos, silly hair and foot spas. For the tweens, nine to twelve, there is more making: perfume, a personalised make-up bag, a polaroid wall. Still making, not improving.
So what age?
Four year olds have a lovely time if the party stays fast and physical. From five to eight is the easiest age of all. Nine to twelve works well as long as it is pitched slightly older, which is why we run it as a separate party rather than the same one with a different cake.
If your daughter would rather be upside down on a climbing frame, book soft play. We would genuinely rather tell you that than take a booking for a party she will not enjoy.
If you are still not sure
Ask us. Tell us her age and what she is like, and we will tell you honestly whether we think she would love it. Sometimes the answer is no.
Still deciding?
Send us her age and what she is into, and we will tell you honestly whether this is her sort of party.